Epic Adventure 2013 Recap

To say I’ve experienced a life change in the past couple of weeks is a vast understatement. The last time I blogged, I was surrounded by boxes and semi-clear counter tops in my Florida apartment, anticipating the movers coming in the morning. Now, I’m settled into my temporary home amidst the mountains and students in Washington. This is a transitory period (our stuff is still currently in Florida until we can move into our real apartment here) and so the adventure is an on-going one for Scott and me. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around all of the changes that have occurred in the last few weeks, but I wanted to offer up some facts and figures to help all of you understand just what we’ve gone through in the last half of a month. It’s been more than a little epic.

Miles moved, from South Florida to Washington state: 3,200

Number of states driven through on the road trip: 13

Hours spent on the road: At least 65 (of actual, legitimate driving) (Don’t ask how many hours I drove) (Scott likes driving!) (Shut up.)

Number of hotels we stayed at on the way: 5 (plus three nights at three different friends’ homes along the way)

Cups of tea and coffee consumed: far too many to count

Days spent in Disney World: 1.5 (with one inside the Magic Kingdom)

Number of times I whined or said “I miss Disney World–LET’S GO BACK!!!” after we left Orlando: at least 30. At least.

Number of epic reunions: 2–one with my RD BFF and one with my Wildcat Rockstar soul sister

Temperature when we moved out of our Florida apartment: 88 degrees

Temperature in North Dakota, our coldest spot on the trip: 11 degrees (related note: I hate North Dakota.)

Amount of hoodies or winter-ish jackets this girl packed: 0, consequently…

Number of days with a cold/sinus infection: going on 9 now

Number of Bucket List Goals accomplished on the road: 1–I tried Rocky Mountain Oysters, which is something I’ve wanted to taste since I learned about them back in college. Verdict? Good, but nothing too special, though that may have had as much to do with how they were prepared (hammered thinly, breaded then deep friend) as with the actual taste.

Number of former students I was able to reunite with over coffee: 7–and catching up with them was one of the happiest moments, not just of the trip, but of the last year of my life. I miss my Bennies (and Johnnies!) so much!

Hours I made Scott listen to boy band and Glee playlists while on the road: 5 (that’s all! I was nice! I should get a trophy for being so nice!)

Weirdest thing found on the road: a lip balm called “Chicken Poop”–an all natural balm. (I actually bought some (it was $3!) and I like it…mainly because it’s not made from fecal matter at all.) I am convinced this is something you could only find in Iowa.

Best souvenir found on the road: it’s a tie between the bucket of Toy Story aliens I bought at Disney World and a woven blanket we found at a Montana tourist trap that is a lot warmer and prettier than we originally thought.

There are more stats and figures, I’m sure, but these are the biggest, most important (read: most impressive) ones, in my opinion. Like any good road trip, there are some great stories to tell, but those will come in other entries, so stay tuned, friends!

Farewell Florida

It’s nearly 11 pm on the night before Scott and I move out of our apartment. At this point most of our stuff is boxed up and I’ve cleaned more than Cinderella ever did. I’m ridiculously exhausted and cannot wait to turn in my keys and be on the road. I just want our new adventure to begin!

Before that can happen I wanted to give Florida a proper farewell in the only way that I can think to right now–with a love and loathe list! So, farewell Florida! Here’s what I loved and shall miss most about you:

• DISNEY WORLD. No explanation needed.
• The beaches. They are so gorgeous and plentiful and I loved knowing that I was so close to the gorgeous Atlantic Ocean.
• The fresh foods! I loved all the direct-from-the-ocean seafood and just-picked fruits and veggies. So yummy and to die for.
• The culture and diversity. I have never felt so fulfilled creatively and artistically because of all the events, venues and happenings.
• The flea markets. For I discovered a passion for vintage that I didn’t realize existed until I came here.
• The restaurants. From the New York style pizza place in my neighborhood to the legit Cuban food and food truck festivals I have never been happier with the variety of restaurants, delis and local eats than I have been for the past ten months.
• My church. The one community I truly felt connected to here was the incredibly welcoming church that we found in the fall. I feel so blessed to be a part of such a strong community that values diversity and growth. The hardest goodbye I had to say was to my pastor. This was the first church I’ve truly ever felt like I intentionally belonged to, so leaving it is one of the hardest parts of moving. I cry every time I think about it because I feel so connected to it.
• The little lizards and Egret birds. I see them all the time and I never fail to be charmed by them. (Even though the first time I saw a lizard I was convinced it was a baby alligator and freaked the fuck out. Shhhh–don’t tell anyone that.)
• The winter. I’m not going to lie: it was awesome to be wearing flip flops and tank tops while my friends and family were bundled up and shoveling out of massive snowfalls in the Midwest. Even now, Minnesota and the UP are still getting lots of the white stuff! Though I am a Yooper girl, I really enjoyed the mild, beautiful Florida winter. I now understand why so many people migrate here from November to April. I don’t blame them one little bit!
• My office job. I worked with lovely people and discovered how quick a learner I am even when I’m completely out of my element. It was such a relief to find a soft place to land (especially after working retail hell for four months), even if it was just for a few months. I’m going to miss my co-workers more than they know.

But while you were lovely in many ways, you were vile in others. Here’s why I am so glad to be going:

• THE TRAFFIC. It takes at least fifteen minutes to get anywhere, even a local store that may be four blocks away. I developed a nasty case of road rage because of the idiot drivers and massive traffic jams of Florida. (This could be a blog entry of its own. Seriously. Unless you’ve navigated Florida traffic for a week or more? You have no idea how awful it is.)
• The rude people. I don’t know why, but people living here are incredibly rude. Nobody looks you in the eye or smiles. The only time people seemed to really engage in conversation with me was when they thought I could help them or give them something. (And working retail over the holidays nearly made me lose my faith in humanity because of how awful people treated workers here.) Coming from the Midwest where everyone is a friend-in-waiting, it was incredibly hard adjusting to the cold nature and outright rude demeanor of 98% of people I encountered. People were genuinely surprised when I smiled or was nice to them because it’s that rare here. I don’t get it. I don’t like it. I definitely will not miss it.
• The wealth. I get it, you drive a $100,000 car, spend more on clothes in a month than I have in three years and are an heir to your grandfather’s money. That does not make you better than me.
• The out-of-touch alternative universe people seem to live in here. It goes hand in hand with the wealth in some cases, but in other instances I’ve come to realize that Floridians can be  just straight up crazy. I knew I was living in another world when a mother paraded her three-year-old daughter through Target wearing a bright orange mini skirt, Hooters shirt and makeup. She was beyond thrilled with her daughter’s outfit; I wanted to do nothing but vomit. In other cases I’ve seen a guy nearly cause a multi-car pileup just so he could flirt (with me, but still, it was more scary than charming), been asked to fork over $4 for a can of soda in a deli (WTF?) and encountered piss in a dressing room stall. I am convinced that these kinds of episodes can only occur in Florida where the heat melts away any common sense brain cells.
• The heat. Like right now? In the middle of April? It was 85 degrees with about 2303098% humidity today. That’s super fun while you’re trying to finish packing. It just gets worse as the summer progresses and the humidity will stay at about a million per cent until November. Ugh. Me and my hair will not miss this AT ALL.
• The creatures. Florida is the only place IN THE WORLD that has both crocodiles and alligators. there are also massive killer snakes, cockroaches and feral cats roaming everywhere in my town. I will choose the dart-into-the-road-deer ANY DAY over any one of these nasty creatures.

I’ve appreciated and mostly enjoyed my time living in Florida. It’s felt like an out-of-body experience at times because of some of the things I talked about above. But it feels like it’s time to go. While I was here for less than a year, I knew that being here was not permanent. While I will miss so much about the state, it feels right to be writing a new chapter with my love. So farewell, Florida. I’ll miss you, but rest assured I’ll be back for leisurely vacations and sparkly trips to your World of Disney. Thanks for the memories. I’m a better person for having experienced your crazy, sometimes frustrating but mostly hilarious culture.

An Ending, An Interlude and A New Chapter

Big things are happening in my world. And they’re happening quickly! Now that the news is “Facebook official” I can talk about it on here, which makes me so happy because I’ve been dying to write about it for FOREVER. On April 15th, my love and I will bid farewell to Florida and then slooooowly make our way west to Washington! We’ve known for a couple of weeks. Only for a couple of weeks. Which means that we have 21 days to wrap up work, pack up our whole apartment, find movers, figure out a route for our trip, contact friends/family with the news, say goodbye to the state and our friends here and begin to look for housing out west. It’s a lot, no?

I hope to blog more in the coming weeks about the whole process (since I’m still very much processing everything) but for now I want to lay out our plans for the interlude in our lives–or as I like to call it The Epic Adventure of 2013. Really the whole move will be the adventure but getting up to Washington will be the most epic part of all, in my opinion. So what’s on the docket, come April 15th? Allow me to elaborate…

April 15th: Leave the apartment for good. Do a happy dance as the movers take all our stuff because yay! I don’t have to lift heavy boxes or deal with any of that crap! Woo! And then? WE HEAD TO MOTHER-FREAKIN’ DISNEY WORLD. That’s right! I finally get to share the magic with my love! I AM SO EXCITED! (And that excitement will fuel my packing and cleaning this week!)

April 16th: DISNEY WORLD! DISNEY WORLD! DISNEY WORLD!

April 17th: We leave Disney World. Booo. And we head up through the long-ass state that is Florida and get through most of Alabama, stopping around Birmingham for the night.

April 18th: Trek up to the St. Louis area and meet up with my lovely RD BFF’s parents (and their awesome St Bernard doggies)!!

April 19th: Omaha-bound! RD BFF REUNION! Ahhh! I haven’t seen Stephanie in almost a year and I BEYOND geeked to see her!!

April 20th: A detour takes us to Minnesota to see friends and family for the night. An imminent night out with my crazy Wildcat friend is sure to occur.

April 21st: A stop over at my former campus to see former students (hopefully) and then up to the Dickinson, North Dakota! I’m sure it’s a happening town, right?

April 22nd: Our journey takes us through North Dakota into Boseman, Montana. Hopefully we can stop at the famous Theodore Roosevelt National Park on the way to get some epic pix along the way. The rest of the trip? Hmm. I’m told it’s a lovely, charming, beautiful drive. I anticipate lovely, beautiful napping since I’ll have my Scottish wool blanket and fuzzy Panda Pillow Pet in the car with me.

April 23rd: From Boseman we trek to Spokane for the night! Wooo! We’ll be in the state in which we’ll be living! How exciting!

April 24th: Finish up the Epic Road Trip of 2014 in central Washington, our new home!

April 24th through May-ish: look for a new home (we have temporary housing through the BF’s job) and explore the area! I heard there’s some great antique shops around and also?  Lots of vineyards! Wooo! Let the new chapter begin!

To Market, To Market

Life is full of little pleasures.

Since moving to Florida, I’ve discovered a new passion: flea markets. To me, it is a Saturday well spent if I get to wander outside, moving among tables filled with treasures. Whenever I find a good bargain or something lovely, it’s an even better day! Being in South Florida there is no shortage of flea markets and I’ve found some fantastic events near my neighborhood. Beyond expanding my jewelry and antique collections (I use the word “antique” VERY loosely as it mostly comprises of a couple of silver pieces of decor right now), I’ve learned a few things as well. I wanted to share my love of flea-ing and the lessons I’ve learned with you, my friends, in hopes that perhaps you’ll adventure out and find a treasure or two of your own.

Lesson #1: Do NOT be afraid to barter. Most of the stuff you’ll find at the markets won’t have prices. There’s a reason for that. Many sellers will try to get as much money for their things as possible. And I can’t blame them! I love money and I know they’re just trying to make a living (or some extra cash). At the same time there is no way that I would pay the asking price for 99% of the things I’ve liked at the markets. Vendors expect you to haggle with the price; they’re used to it. It may feel uncomfortable asking for even $5 off the price, but after doing it a couple of times it becomes easier. I was outside of my comfort zone for a while because I want everyone to like me and I thought people would hate me if I tried to get a better deal. While some people have treated me rudely (more on that later), most are willing to at least consider a lower price.

Lesson #2: Don’t be afraid to talk to people. How else are you going to get that lovely painting for your bedroom or new pendant that you’re dying to have? If you can’t look people in the eye and engage in at least a couple sentences of small talk, then you may not want to hit the flea markets. This tip also works in reverse–be wary of anyone who won’t give you the time of day or looks past you. You deserve respect and a few moments of their time. They don’t deserve your money if they cannot even say hello or ask how your day is going. Which leads me to my next lesson…

Lesson #3: Be willing to walk away. Even if you love the pendant or are dying for that amazing steamer trunk. (Which, by the way, is my holy grail–I want one so badly!) If a seller isn’t taking you seriously or you don’t think you’re getting a fair price, walk away. Just go. It sucks sometimes, especially if you really want the item, but sometimes it needs to be done. Sometimes when you walk, a seller will come down on price or start treating you with the respect you weren’t getting before and you end up with the thing you love, which is great! But if that doesn’t happen know that you’ll find something better and you can feel good knowing that your money is going to someone who actually paid you some attention or was willing to work with you.

Lesson #4: Do not tolerate rude or disrespectful vendors. My biggest pet peeve is when I’m bargaining with a seller and I tell them I only have so much cash so I can’t go any higher. The response I’ve gotten at least two or three times has been “ask your boyfriend for money.” When I hear that I firmly put the item down and leave after telling them I’m offended. I’ve let go a couple of lovely things because of it, but I don’t care. Telling me to get money from my partner is incredibly invalidating; it makes me look like a gold-digging hussy who can’t handle her own business. I won’t tolerate or support it from anyone. Don’t be afraid to speak up if someone offends you especially if you’re trying to give them business. You have a voice and with your money you have a choice of who to support. Don’t let anyone bully or offend you. (These are common tactics in Florida because 95% of the population is super-rude.)

Lesson #5: Keep an open mind. Try not to go into a flea market with expectations. My biggest disappointments have come when I thought I’d find a treasure trove  filled with sparkly happy things only to find old video cassettes and cheap plastic toys. It can be feast or famine at these events so if you go just to take in the atmosphere and people watch, you’re well on your way to a good day. Also be willing to explore and look at things you’d otherwise never consider. You might find something you never would have considered owning before if you’re exploring. Flea markets really can open whole new worlds.

Lesson #6: Don’t be dazzled by the discoball. What I mean by this is that when a lot of stuff is grouped together it

Charming displays are one of the great things about markets.

can look amazing and exciting; it’s easy to get caught up and want everything displayed. This is particularly true with jewelry–a lot of vendors know how to group and display pieces that not only catch people’s eyes but make them want to spend more money. Take your time to look beyond the so-called mountain and focus on individual pieces and items.

Lesson #7: Have fun! Sometimes the markets I’ve gone to haven’t been amazing, but I always manage to have a good time. I bring my boyfriend and we’ll make a game out of it sometimes–who can find the cheesiest video or tackiest piece of clothing? It’s also fun to people watch at these events. And since a lot of markets are outside, it’s a great excuse to soak in sunshine. Even if you don’t score your dream antique or something pretty, it’s fun just experiencing the event. So if you’ve never been to one I challenge you to go. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find something worth millions!

One Million Plus

Thanks to my favorite musical of all time, RENT, I know that there are approximately 525,000 minutes in one year. While it’s hard for me to wrap my head around such a large number, even more astounding is that, come March 19th, Scott and I will have spent over a million minutes together because it’s our two year anniversary!

Two years. That’s longer than any romantic relationship I’ve ever had.

One million minutes. It seems like such a long time and yet it also seems to have gone by so quickly.

Our relationship means the world to me. I’ve written about it many times on this blog, but that’s only the tip of the iceberg. My heart is filled with so much joy and love because of Scott. He once asked me why I love him and without even thinking I said “because you brought me back to life.” And it’s true–he entered my world at a time when I didn’t know if I could ever trust someone again. And with his humor, sensitivity and compassion, he has breathed so much love and life into my world. His love has truly changed me.

That doesn’t mean that it’s been all puffy pink hearts and sparkling rainbows. We’ve had to navigate and overcome a lot, both separately and as a team to be together. We conquered nearly a year of living 1,800 miles apart. We’ve had to figure out how to mesh our lives and preferences together in one not-so-large apartment. We’ve had silly arguments over what’s for dinner (again and again–it’s seriously the most common debate in our home) and deep discussions about where our futures will take us. Disagreements and debates have been potholes on our journey together.

But for every argument, there are ten lovely moments, which make up most of our relationship. In the two years we’ve spent together we’ve had approximately a million kisses and cuddles. We’ve shared at least a million laughs. We’ve sent about a million texts and emails to each other. We’ve spent a million minutes on the phone and text–mostly during the long-distance period of our relationship. We’ve listened to nearly a million songs and sang out of tune to most of them. We’ve embarked on not-quite-a-million adventures, but we’re working on it. We’ve shared almost a million lovely memories and moments together since March 19th, 2011. And my only wish is to spend many millions of minutes more with Scott, loving him and adventuring together through life.

Reality Show Bucket List

It might be Grown-Up Reading Month in Krissy-verse, but I have no reluctance in admitting that I adore reality television. Most of the shows I gravitate towards are in the genre, some because they’re compelling, others because they’re hilarious. I’d call it a guilty pleasure but I feel no guilt about it. It makes me happy…and judging by the number of reality shows on TV right now, I’m betting that I’m not alone in this.

I stumbled across an interesting Tumblr (via the always-entertaining Pinterest) not too long ago called the Fiction Bucket List. Readers can submit things they’d love to do with fictional characters. I love this idea. The vast majority of the “goals” I saw had to do with literature but there are also a lot that deal with other forms of media as well. I thought this was such a creative idea–to feel so connected or engaged to a character or fictional world that you imagine what it’d be like to really interact with them. I’m personally mulling over what I’d like to do with fictional characters (off the top of my head, making a movie with RENT’s Mark and having drinks with Liz Lemon top the list), but I could be forming that list for a while. Springing from that idea, I started thinking about my love of reality TV and things I’d love to do with some of the personalities on my favorite shows. There have been many times when I’ve been watching a show and I’ve gone “I’d love to do that with him!” So I’m stealing the Fiction Bucket List idea and making my own (very KP) bucket list.

Reality Show Bucket List:

• Buy a storage locker with Barry. (Storage Wars)
• Sip Sweet Tea with Si (Duck Dynasty)
• Have a heart-to-heart with Nev (Catfish the TV Show)
• Out-yell Abby Lee Miller (Dance Moms)
• Shop at Walmart with Paris and Nicole (The Simple Life)
• Talk some sense into every contestant on (or thinking about going on) The Bachelor
• Be a part of a production number for Team Cee-Lo (The Voice)
• Cause chaos and hilarity with Kathy Griffin (My Life on the D-List; Kathy)
• Go on a wardrobe shopping spree with Stacy and Clinton (What Not to Wear)
• Talk spirituality and love with the Sister Wives
• Take Sparticus to the dog park with Coco (Ice Loves Coco)
• Be a guest judge on Ru Paul’s Drag Race or a contestant on Drag U
• Apprentice for Jenny Grumbles and have her teach me everything she knows about repurposing furniture (Storage Wars Texas)
• Trust Ted to transform my hair (What Not to Wear)
• Brainstorm inspiration ideas with Ron Ben Isreal for his show Sweet Genius
• Find my perfect wedding gown on Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta
• Take a cooking lesson with Alex Guarnaschelli and Anne Burrell (Chopped, The Next Iron Chef, Worst Cooks in America)
• Dance my heart out on So You Think You Can Dance

I’m sure there’s more, but this is most of my list. What would be on  your list?

Reading Month

For as long as I can remember, March has been a favorite month of mine. I love it now because of March Madness and my love of the Spartans and Coach Izzo. The 3rd month also reminds me of my first trip to London, filled with cool days of adventures and charm–it was a time when I learned so much about myself and found a part of my heart I didn’t know I was missing. But before those things, March was Reading Month. My elementary school was amazing because the month of March was jam-packed with tons of activities designed to engage the student body and get students reading more. There were contests to see who could read the most pages and which class could read the most. There were dress up days, game days and lots of art and craft projects. Being a massive bookworm, I immediately fell in love with the entire idea and essentially holed myself in my room the entire month reading as much as humanly possible in honor of the month. March was magical and full of fun and possibility.

With that in mind, I want to reintroduce Reading Month to my life. I’ve always been a big reader and I usually carry a book around with me in case there’s a lull in activity or I’m stuck standing in line for more than three minutes. Books are my solace and entertainment. I love reading. I just feel that I don’t prioritize it that much anymore because of work, life and silly things like Facebook and Duck Dynasty. (No seriously–I am obsessed with that show right now. You have no idea.) I want to intentionally spend more time with one of the first loves of my life. I would rather get lost in a good book than stare at a screen. So why am I not doing more of the thing that makes me happy? Why do I deny myself the pleasure of a good read?

I have no easy answers. But what I do have is a solution. Reading Month.

I want to fill my life with wonderful words and characters and plot lines and plot twists. I want to expand my mind and enter new worlds and revisit ones that I grew up in. I simply want to read more. And so this month? I start that.I’m going to be much more intentional about how I spend my time. And with that intentionality I’m going to spend my time doing the thing I love: reading. I have quite a few books in my library that I have not read yet, but I’m aching to dive into them.(I’m awful about buying more books than I have time to read at the moment.) GURM (Grown-Up Reading Month) will help me discover new friends and universes. (Hurray!) Additionally I’m going to engage my mind more this March by also writing and blogging more. I think I added three new entries in the past month. That’s ridiculous. I can’t call myself a writer if I’m not, uh, writing. So as a part of my new Grown-Up Reading Month, I’m going to try blogging four to five times a week. (At first I was all “I’m gonna blog EVERY DAY!” And then I got rational and realized that no matter how well-intentioned I am, I will probably never ever be an every day blogger. I write best when I have quality over quantity, so four solid entries a week versus seven mediocre ones sounds much better in Krissy-verse.) So not only will I up my reading, but I’ll be contributing to your reading as well. (You’re welcome.)

So what are the books I will read this month?

• Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl
• Bonjour Happiness by Jamie Cat Callan
• The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Schaffer and Annie Barrows
• How to Be Like Walt: Capturing Disney Magic Every Day of Your Life by Pat Williams (I’m about 1/3 of the way through this and I love it so much I’m trying to savor it, but it will just be wonderful if I could finish it up and clear some space on my nightstand!)
• The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf (I probably won’t get all the way through this because I know it’ll be a slow, thought-provoking read, but if I make some headway I’ll be happy.)
• Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (I need to start reading this series again. I’m so in love with Harry and the whole Potter-verse.)
• The Host by Stephanie Meyer (I may loathe the Twilight books but enough of my friends have sworn that this book is actually legitimately good, so I want to give it a shot. I may not get to it this month but it’s on the to-read list for sooner rather than later, especially with the movie coming out soon.)
• At least one book from my childhood: Little House in the Big Woods, Matilda, Ramona or Ann of Green Gables

This is quite the list. And more than a few pages, characters and worlds. It’s going to be awesome! Feel free to join me and make March your Grown-Up Reading Month as well.