Day 11: Say It Loud

Today’s question from the Reverb Broad’s 2011 Writing Challenge wants to know: How are you like your mother?

I am in no way exaggerating when I say that my mom is my hero. If her life were a novel, the chapters would read like this:

•    Grow up on a farm with 8 brothers and sisters
•    Recover from an axe accident where she was millimeters from dying (or at least having severe brain traum)
•    Survive polio
•    Marry young and spend the next couple of decades attempting to get pregnant (incidentally enduring a few miscarriages along the way)
•   Persevere and survive the rantings and abuse of an alcoholic throughout their marriage
•   Give birth to my me and my sister, almost dying in the process of having me since I got stuck in the birth canal (I joke that I’ve been dramatic from the start, but it’s seriously true!)
• Find the strength to leave my father after years of abuse
• Raise her two daughters on her own for fifteen-plus years
• Stay strong when she finds out that she has both asthma and Rheumatoid Arthritis, which has the possibility of crippling people
• Reconfigure her life after her girls go on to college

To think that I share the same DNA as this amazing woman blows my mind on  regular basis. That being said I am more like my mother than I am dis-similar.

My mom has an incredible sense of humor. She laughs easily and often. I believe that, more than anything, it’s been her sense of humor that’s helped her through some of her darkest times. Even when we were living sparsely, she had the ability to remain optimistic and help me to see that things would be fine. She’d find the funny in everything. Because of her I can find silver linings in the cloudiest of conditions and laugh even when my instinct might be to cry.

I also have the inner strength to persevere and carry on during dire situations because of my mom. Clearly, my mom survived a lot throughout her life. When she walked away from an abusive marriage, she showed me that it’s not only OK to be on your own, but also necessary some times. She summoned the strength to carry on even when she learned about her asthma and arthritis. And through the years she’s learned to stand up for herself, showing me that I need to use my voice in order to make my life my own.

My voice–or rather, the volume of my voice–can also be attributed to my mom. All moms have that stern “mother voice.” All parents know when to raise their voices. But my mom takes those things to a whole other level. My mom is small–she barely clears 4 feet, 10 inches–yet her voice can fill rooms. This is especially impressive since she only has one vocal chord. (She lost one during an asthma attack.) I’m never afraid of losing my mom in stores or crowds because I know I’ll be able to hear her laughing easily or chatting loudly with whatever new friends she’s making. I attribute the volume of my own vocal chords to the my mom. It’s clearly genetic; I’m not going to fight it.

I could wax poetic for days about all the reasons I love my mom. I realize that most women love and adore their mothers and feel oceans of gratitude for the ones who brought them into this world. I’m the same way.  My mom is amazing. If I turn out to be half the woman that she is I’ll have lived a good life. I know that my mom wants me to have the world–to find happiness and success and feel fulfilled. What she doesn’t realize is that I am all of those things because of her and all of the gifts she’s given me.

Day 4: My Name in Lights

Day 4′s Reverb Broads 2011 prompt: In the movie version of your life, which actor/actress would play you and the significant players in your life? What kind of movie is it (e.g., made-for-TV, action, emo/indie, etc.)? What would be the major plot points, and how will it end?

I always struggle when I’m asked this question–who’d play me in the movies? It’s always hard because although I am a pop culture junkie and a movie fanatic, I’ve never quite found someone who could pull of the difficult task of playing me. The role of Krissy is one that requires a lot of energy, more than a little passion, some quirky zest and a whole lot of curves. There aren’t a lot of actresses out there who could pull it off. That is…until I saw Bridesmaids and fell in love with Melissa McCarthy. Her all-out performance in that movie coupled with the heart she puts into Mike and Molly and the enthusiasm with which she threw into her SNL hosting gig make me think that she could handle a movie about my life. (And, no, I’m not just saying Ms. McCarthy because she’s a big girl making her way through the world. If you saw any episode of Mike and Molly you’d see the depth of her ability–she’s pulling laughs one minute and wearing her heart on her sleeve the next. I’d like to think I’m like that.)

Really, though, I wouldn’t want there to be a movie about my life. Instead I’d love to executive produce a reality series about my life. The situations I find myself in on a daily basis, both because of my job/friends/love life and my big mouth need to be experienced by the world. Conversations with my friends leave my stomach aching from all the laughs. Meetings with coworkers and students either lead to profound aha moments or–at the very least–interesting analogies and WTF scenarios. I have an affinity for soaking in every emotion and situation, so having cameras follow me around to capture the crazy chaos of my life could only help me to make meaning of things. The point, of course, would be to entertain and inspire. If I can cultivate my own lovely life after facing the adversity I have (poor, rural childhood; abusive relationship; etc…) perhaps I could inspire others to do the same.

I may never see my name (or life) in lights. While my existence is charming and hilarious enough for a couple of seasons on TLC or Oxygen, I doubt a movie could ever be made about my life at this point. I’m still writing my story and having adventures. Let’s put the movie idea on hold for a couple of decades–or at least until my memoir is published. But let’s keep Melissa’s phone number on speed dial. Just in case.

In Praise Of: Lady Gaga

Gaga performing at the 2011 VMAs

It’s rare that I get really excited about a musician. I mean, I get excited about a lot of things: puppies, friends, mail, love, anything shiny. But I don’t truly get excited about musicians for the most part. I went through a major boy band phase in high school where I was in love with the Backstreet Boys and then switched teams and was head over heels for *NSync. I loved me a boy who could sing and bust a mean choreographed move. But apart from that, I haven’t truly fell for an artist in a long time.

Until Gaga came along.

I watched her 2009 VMA performance, transfixed because she commanded the stage, but also nervous because I had no idea what the hell she was doing. She was bleeding from her boobs and being crucified–that’s a bold statement to make on a world stage. She creeped me out. Thus, I had to know more about her. Once I learned the intent behind that performance I became more than a minor fan.

Now I eagerly await performances. I was so excited for her Grammy performance that I was in tears approximately twenty seconds into the song. I counted down to her Born This Way video and then the album. I talk about her incessantly enough that some of my students have nicknamed me Gaga because of my minor obsession with her.  I truly believe I could die happy once I finally see her in concert.

But I don’t adore her in a creepy fan-girl way. It’s not like I worship a Gaga alter. Rather, the reason I love Lady Gaga so much is because she inspires me. To me, she stands for everything good and creative in the world. She is in control of her career and the messages that she sends out to the universe and she works hard to intentionally create meaningful (although sometimes confusing) messages. Her albums have themes and underlying story arcs that can sometimes take dozens of listens to understand. Her videos can take her months to create because she wants to make sure every angle, every scene, every costume, every dance move intentionally reflects who she is and what she wants to say.  She seems genuinely moved by the fact that people love her and reflects her appreciation by working hard to give her fans her best. Plus she’s not afraid to poke fun at herself–have you seen her Saturday Night Live  appearances? They’re brilliant. (She practically co-hosted the final SNL of the season with Justin Timberlake–she was in all but one or two of the skits because of her comedic abilities.) 

When I watch her videos and performances I get whole-body chills. While I watched tonight’s VMAs, I was reminded of just how incredible she is. Never one to do anything traditional, Gaga chose to open the award show as her drag alterego, complete with three-minute monologue and rocking rendition of “You and I” where she danced her heart out, threw beer around the stage, climbed on a piano and then nearly injured herself because she was so into the performance. To me, she is a strong woman who demands attention and commands the stage because of her enormous talent and the message she’s sending. She inspires me in ways I can’t articulate, but mostly she inspires me because she’s fearless. The world needs more people like her in it. Even if they choose to do a performance in drag. Especially when they choose to perform in drag.

I want to be like Lady Gaga when I grow up.

(Photo credit: here) (You can watch the video of the performance at this link as well.)